Ned

The Ned
The Homo Sapien Nedius(Colloqually know as a Ned) is a sub-species of Homo Sapien and a cousin to the more numerous Homo Sapien Sapien. The Ned is a bi-pedal creature with features resembling it's more advanced cousin, the distinctive feature of a Ned is it's apparel, a track suit and/or a cap. Another identifying mark is it's inability to use advanced language, most of their communication being expressed in sounds not much more complex than grunts.

Ned Behavior
If you see a Ned in it's natural environment, a council estate, DO NOT APPROACH IT, REPEAT: DO NOT APPROACH IT. A Ned is highly likely to attack(and possibly rape) and rob you on sight, take EXTREME caution when forced into proximity with a Ned. The only time it is safe to approach a Ned is when it has been caught by a Ned Snatcher(i.e A Police Officer). A Ned will often live on a diet of solely Buckfast "Wine"(Buckie as the Neds know it).

Ned Communication
As mentioned above the Ned communicates mostly in quasi-grunting, poining and the rubbing of the testicles.

Commonly used phrases & translations

 * Haw Mahn - Good Day/ Hello.
 * Any cunt - Anyone
 * I'll Pewr bash ye - I shall strike you.
 * Gettin' Wide mahn - Do you, the aggressor, wish to engage in fisticuffs?
 * Pure Mental - Amazing/Somewhat great.
 * Wan' a chib, ye numpty? - Do you want me to stab you ignoramous?
 * Yer Maw- Your Mother (often used as an insult)
 * weir pyoor mentul mon - We find ourselves impressive
 * buckie- a tonic wine made by monks for old people
 * Am gettin pure mad wai it man - I am very bored waiting and am going to drink some alcoholic beverages
 * Your jaw's gettin ripped - I'm going to strike your jaw
 * Ahawwwwwwl you wee man - A ned sneezing while addressing someone
 * Geese a swallie ae 'aht buckie - Could I possibly have a tipple of that fine tonic wine that you are currently imbibing.
 * Up yours ya baw-bag - Get it up oneself you scrotum.
 * Pewr Fukiin Minteed mahn - This is great!
 * Heavy bersht - Exceptionally superior
 * Stabalotaeyeez - I will engage in weapon combat and attack you.
 * Neheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh! - A Ned attack chant.

All of these phrases can also be construed as one of them trying to mate with you, BE AWARE!

Examples of Neds

 * Michael Kelly
 * James Gilles
 * The Abomination (nedette)